Foster Care Grief – Placement Isolation

One of the biggest shocks we went through in the early days of our first placement was the amount of appointments our kids would need to have in the first 72-hours and month of their placement. From the moment they arrive until at least that first 72-hour period is over, you don’t have much time to breath, to think, and defiantly don’t have any time to be social! For a moment, you are isolated, dealing with the overflow of information you just received from an investigator about why this child is here in the first place, and wondering how anyone could be in this place in life.

It’s similar to the experience you have when the call comes that a loved one has suddenly passed away. For a time, you simply go on auto-pilot and get things done!

Which is hard for our families, friends, co-workers, and more. They often don’t understand why we don’t have time to “show off the new kid,” which is another topic for another day in itself. That ignorance isn’t totally their fault though, because if we don’t explain it how will anyone know?

So one more time it’s up to us as the foster parent to do the leg work. If we are smart we give everyone a heads up before the placement happens so there isn’t any shock, but even when we can’t be preemptive, we can take a moment to explain, to share needs, to ask for help where we can!

And that’s where you all come in. Don’t just assume because we’ve taken seventeen kids in before with all the appointments, chaos, and business that comes with it that we have it all under control. Our kids have changed, the needs have changed, and we might need help this time! If the foster parent in your life isn’t asking for help, offer it. If they claim to have it all under control, offer again. When they deny help that time, buy the family dinner!

Taking a new placement in is hard, it wears on the mind, body and spirit. So one final note, one final thing you can do, we can do for everyone taking a placement today across our country.

Pray for them!

The families, the child, have all just had their worlds flips up-side-down. Pray they find a way to get it all under control, they have the courage to ask for help, and the grace to accept it. And pray that this is just the beginning of healing for all involved, an intermission cause by life’s trials and not the end of a family broken by brokenness!


Visit our new store where each month we plan to bring a new design promoting foster care, family reunification, and more. Pictured here is this month’s featured design!

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